umhi-im-alexis:

"Open books, not legs" is the dumbest shit ever like

if I wanna read then I’ll read

and if I wanna fuck then I’ll fuck

and if I wanna rest my book against a hot guy’s head while he puts it between my spread legs then I’m gonna fucking do that bye

(via baby-make-it-hurt)

"Claim her, love her, fuck her, spoil her, trust her."

(via theagould)

(Source: h0dor-h0dor, via no-road)

caloriq:

how do people have relationship after relationship like i can’t find a single person to find me remotely attractive for a solid second

(via crazedlunatics)

fruitcrocs:

if you’ve ever stepped on a dog’s foot and didn’t apologise like ur life depended on it please let me know now so i can get a restraining order

(Source: fruitcrocs, via orgasmic-humor)

godmuva:

Why people ask me shit like “how was work?” or “how is school?” like work is work, school is school, I would rather be on a yacht right now while gettin some dick but here I am

(via theunexpectedsoul)